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Most of us are our biggest critics and it's stupid

It’s important to acknowledge the small victories when you’re working to break bad habits and improve your relationship with food. This applies to people working on other aspects of their lives to ultimately feel happier and healthier, as well. I tend to have a negative outlook in most situations and I’m too hard on myself, so I don’t often feel particularly successful on a day-to-day basis.


When I go to my eating disorder clinic appointment each Monday, it almost always starts with my doctor asking, “How did it go this week?”


I usually say something along the lines of, “ It was okay, I guess. I don’t think I did a great job with my goals.”


Then she asks me why I feel that way, so I go through the list of objectives we had discussed the week before and report how I did with each one. And when I lay out the facts and look at the big picture, I realize I’m doing pretty damn well with my ARFID recovery goals.


My eating habits aren’t perfect but it’s only been a few months. I think knowing that I was starting a 10-week program made me feel like I had to be completely healed and recovered in less than three months. But the reality of the situation is that my journey with ARFID recovery is just beginning.


Here are some of the small victories I’ve made note of to remind myself that spending all this effort, time and money to feel better isn’t for nothing:

I’m hungry more consistently

I eat at regular intervals

I started drinking less coffee (well, some days)

I’m nauseous less often

I’m eating more vegetables


Here are the goals I’m still struggling with:

Eating at exact times

Eating in the 15 and 30 minute time limits

Finishing every meal


Sometimes when I get into self-deprecation mode and put myself down, people remind me that I should be kind to myself. And it's true.


You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.